Melt Down

Thursday November 8, 2001

Had another minor melt down.  I was riding my bike home from work.  (By
the time I reach the back of WFC it's already dark which is why I asked
for earlier work hours.  The center is not willing to help.)  It's
frightening riding through there at night.  No buzz of conversation
coming from the cafes and bars that surround the boat basin.  All the
stores and offices are dark.  The only light is that of the giant spot
lights illuminating "ground zero" in the foreground.  The effect
transforms WFC into a black and jagged sillouette.  Something caught my
eye in the sky as I was riding so I stopped my bike to watch.  I thought
it was birds circling, but soon reasoned that it was much too dark out
and much too high for it to be birds.  I soon discovered that I was
watching fighter jets and my heart began to pound and I started to cry
again and peddled quickly home.

I had nightmares.

1. I was outside Barton Ave Elementary School waiting for a bus.  My
mother was sitting on a lawn chair.  I was anxious.  I noticed in the
sky some objects that I thought was planes, but the were trains and
other land vehicles.  Then to the west I saw a swirling flash of light
and knew something nuclear had happened.  I asked my mother if we could
go back to her house and her reply was a sarcastic, "what for....go
ahead if you want".  Then I woke up.

2.  I was at an ice rink in a school when I heard planes overhead that
began bombing us.  I told 2 men to follow me and ran out into the school
yard.  It was dark.  I crawled on my belly along a chain link fence and
across the street into the woods.  It was now day time.  We followed a
rail road track and found a shack where they wanted to stay.  I told
them it wasn't safe to be anywhere near something worth bombing like
transportation or an obvious target like shelter.
I said we would need to go deeper into the forrest a dig a shelter that
could not be seen from the sky.  Then I woke up.

w