Better at Faking It
I'm getting better at faking it....everyone at work thinks I'm much better, but inside I'ms still counting the days until I can move away and start over. Every night I say sort of a safety prayer for my cats and myself. Every morning I give thanks for a safe night and wish for a safe day. It's a ritual. I set my coffee maker at night to remind me that there will be a tomorrow.
Last night I had a dream that I was talking to my late grandmother. We were talking about how people respond to the dying. During our conversation, I realized that the reason I still hurt from her death was because we never had any closure. I didn't get to talk to her before she passed as I did with my other two grandparents. Oddly enough, when I woke this morning, I felt that we just had our conversation.
I also had another nightmare about planes.