6 Years Later

Satch and I took a nice stroll in the rain to the post office. As I placed the parcels on the counter I froze when I heard a newscast reporting a terrorist attack and evacuations. The mail clerk must have seen all the color drain from my face because she immediately said, "They're re-playing the original broadcast....we're you there?" "Yes", I replied sadly, "I was there". I couldn't find the words for what I was feeling. It's not as if I've forgotten...every year at this time the nightmares start. I wake up hearing sounds so real that it takes a some time for me to realize it's not really happening.

I really didn't need that sort of reminder...it was like a whack in the face!

It's six years later and I still shudder at the sound jets. I still have periodic nightmares and I still think about things like, "if I had to...could I get out of here?"

In a little while the evening ritual will begin. Satch will help put on his pajamas before going to the window with Dada to look for the moon. We will all kiss, hug and say goodnight. I'll curl up beside my son until he falls asleep.

Six years ago tonight I was covered in ash, powdered cement and fiberglass and sleeping on the floor of a school gymnasium in Bayonne, New Jersey.