Friday, October 13, 2006

Five Years Later Continued

Robert was offered a wonderful job as an attorney for the federal government within the social security administration. It's too good to pass up so....we're moving....to northern Virginia...the DC area.

This locale was a bit of a trigger for me. I told Robert that I do not want to live within a 30 mile radius of any target city. I realize that I think differently than I did before the trauma. I consider all the "what ifs". I don't want to live near airports, nuclear powerplants, military bases, or target cities. I don't want to live near a tornado alley, volcano, fault, or flood zone.

And yet, I think that I've come a long way since 9/11/2001, after which, I could not even sleep in my bed. It took quite awhile for me to move off the couch...with the shades open...facing the window. I had a bag packed in the closet near the door that contained: a respirator/mask, water, cat food, protein bars, vitamins, pocket knife, change of clothes, towel, raincoat, flash light, and first aid kit. I also had the cat carriers ready to go, and a luggage carrier so I can wheel them quickly. I kept a mini maglight with me at all times.

These days, I don't have an escape bag, and I can sleep in my bed with the shades closed. BUT...I still make a mental note of all possible escape routes when I'm in a building of any kind, and I still note the sound of planes over head. Below is a snippet of our conversation.

He said, "Wendy, the chances of that happening are very slim...you have a greater chance of getting into a car accident".

I said, "The chances of of two jets crashing in my back yard is pretty slim too, but it happened to me!"

He understands my need to feel safe and so we will be to build a nest outside the DC area.